Ahn’s 1/4 lb. Burger
439 Grand Ave., Oakland
photo: M. Sawicki, c. 2002. Courtesy BBG
In high school, BBG and his friends would play wiffle ball at Lake Merritt (who remembers angelfire?). They played on a little grassy patch near Grand Ave. After an afternoon of beaning each other in the head, hitting balls at sunbathers, and generally having some good clean fun, they’d pack up their lawn chairs, score sheets, wiffle bat, and a half a dozen wiffle balls and cross the street to Ahn’s burger.
So as you can see, there’s a bit of personal history here for BBG, and he was particularly excited to take me to the joint. This next bit contains a few inside jokes, sorry.
Ahn’s is 3/4ths of a strip mall front next to Lake Merritt on Grand Ave. The other fourth, if you’re wondering, is a 1-hour photo place that’s never ever open. Ever. I doubt it even exists. I hear it’s a front for cock fighting. Ahn’s exterior probably hasn’t changed since the 70s, along with its menu. You can order off of their small menu from the sidewalk through their small order window, or you can venture inside. There’s a counter and a couple small booths. In general, it’s small and kind of dirty inside, so basically something to avoid. Since you’re literally across the street from the lake, it’s better to walk over there with your grub anyway.
The menu is basic, at best. You can get your usual burger/diner fare: burger, cheeseburger, fries. You can get sandwiches which are probably equally greasy: BLT, chicken, BBQ, or an Ahn-wich (pastrami). Surprise! They have hot dogs, chili dogs, and corn dogs on the menu. There’s also a variety of milkshakes from your basic chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry to your more interesting – boysenberry and pineapple (which some would argue is the third most popular milkshake flavor – I swear!). Apparently you can get breakfast there. Based on what I could see, you can get your standard diner/brunch fare: eggs and breakfast meats, black coffee, and maybe pancakes. That’s admirable.
The burgers are good. Like I’ve said before, when you grind up beef and form it into patties, it’s hard to find fault in it unless it’s really really terrible. Ahn’s is pretty quality and has a nice meaty flavor. Burgers are topped with good ol’ orange American cheese, melted on the patty but not so much that it’s runny or sweaty, which is nice. Condiments include: lettuce, tomato, mayo, pickles, onion, and mustard. Everything comes together nicely, like any quality burger. A bit heavy on the mayo, but not in an overly disgusting way. The veggies are fresh, which is surprising for a hole-in-the-wall kind of place. And I love it when you automatically get mustard on burgers.
The fries are good in terms of texture, but lack a little in flavor. They’re crinkle cut and fried to perfection: very crispy on the outside and mushy on the inside. They come piping hot and with a bit of salt. Sadly, they don’t really taste like much of anything, a sign that they were once frozen fries. I like that they go easy on the salt and then realize they skimp on the salt (they give you extra salt packets) – but maybe going McDonald’s on those babies would make them a bit tastier. Ketchup solved that problem pretty quickly, though.
Although I didn’t try it, I hear the pineapple milkshake wasn’t very pineapple-y. It was like a vanilla milkshake with very few, minute chunks of pineapple at the bottom. At the end of it, the top of the shake was a bit foamy, which tells me it wasn’t a real milkshake. That’s disappointing. Next you’re going to tell me the lemonade is by Minute Maid.
The best thing about Ahn’s is its location. Lake Merritt (despite all the goose poop) is really truly beautiful and a fun place to hang out at. Summer evenings there are the best – as it cools off, people from all walks of life come out and wander around the lake. It’s a great spot to people watch while eating some fries. The geese like the fries, too. Plus walking around the lake a couple times after a meal from Ahn’s would probably do you some good.
The cost ain’t so bad either. Dinner Sunday night for three people was just under $20 (three cheeseburgers, two fries, and a pineapple milkshake). And their turnaround is great. We probably waited 15 minutes for our order, and it looked like there were two orders ahead of us.
The place wasn’t exactly hoppin’, but it was still good times on a nice evening.
Overall: A nice, tasty burger joint if things like your cholesterol and blood pressure don’t matter to you. Sophisticated palates need not apply, just people looking for a good ol’ fashioned fast food meal.
Rating: 6/10
choice chow 
jonathan said
I can’t click for the 2002 Season Finale Photo Album.