Grinders Submarine Sandwiches
2069 Antioch Ct., Oakland (Montclair District)
Photo: mine except for Phil, that’s from the SF Chronicle.
Ever see that episode of Seinfeld? The one with the “Soup Nazi”? Well, there’s a Sandwich Nazi in Oakland for you to check out.
I think that “Nazi” is a strong term. The guy is just firm, especially if you dilly-dally around your order. He’s super efficient, which is fair since you can customize your sandwich with about a billion different options. Please don’t mind it when he asks you if you want pickles, yellow or spicy mustard, onions, your sandwich hot or cold and about 20 other sandwich specifications in a rapid-fire manner, he’s got people to feed and doesn’t have time to help you decide.
He also doesn’t allow you to be on your celly while you’re in his store. I actually appreciate this since people tend to talk HELLA loud while they’re on the phone. And I don’t care what people say, you’re also very, very distracted while you talk on the phone (I’m lookin at you girlies on the phone while you drive erratically).
Grinders is a tiny sandwich shop in downtown Montclair. Oh, Montclair, how do I describe thee? It’s not actually a town, it’s more like a section of Oakland near Piedmont. This particular area is filled with little shops and eateries that are upscale-ish. Sure, there’s a Starbucks, a Noah’s, and a Jamba, but there’s also a Peets and trendy mom and pop operations and boutiques that line the cramped sidewalks of what is essentially a 5 block area. There are occasional festivals (music, arts and crafts, and the like), plus a farmers’ market that probably rivals the one at Ferry Plaza. When there isn’t some kind of event, the place is still crowded and parking just as hard to come by.
But I digress.
Grinders sort of doesn’t fit with the place, but at the same time fits well. Montclair feels like a smaller version of Walnut Creek or maybe Laurel Heights, but it’s also very small town-ish, which is what Grinders feels like to me. This is because it’s a small operation, run by the same guy, day in and day out. There’s also another part to it: how you order. Go to Grinders, make your perfect sandwich, and then SAVE IT in what has got to be a massive database. That’s right, your order is saved and 
next time you come in, just order the Joe Schmoe and you’re good. Neat, right? A warning: make your name hard to spell or don’t tell your friends your favorite place is Grinders. Apparently, any kid can come in off the street and edit your order. Don’t order the Phil Zackler… I’m told the guy would stop by Grinders for lunch a lot during his high school days and every time he’d order his beloved sandwich, someone had changed it. It ended with him buying a 20-inch sub, or something. Don’t feel bad for Phil, he’s going to be a senator or something.
I digress again.
The interior of Grinders is small. There’s a counter on one side with the sandwich nazi sitting in front of his computer, waiting for you to hurry up and order. To his right, several sandwich makers hard at work. Opposite the counter are boxes with a side cut out, displaying the variety of chips for your choosing. You can get fountain drinks or cans or bottles of whatever. There are cookies of varying age (fresh, day old, two day old, etc). As expected, there’s no place to sit and eat your sandwich. Please, you’d just be wasting space and making noise. Along the same lines, there isn’t really room to wait near the counter for your order, so most wait outside and shove their way in or out to get their sub. It’s not really customer-friendly is what I’m trying to say.
Near the ordering spot there’s luckily a paper menu outlining your choices. You can pick and choose everything off the menu. Say you want a turkey with bacon, avocado, no mayo. Sure, you can do that, but be prepared to answer a slew of questions about other toppings. The guy is a bit intimidating, so I tend to answer the questions before I can really think about what I truly would like. Overall, though, it doesn’t really make too much of a difference if I get black pepper on my sandwich or not. There are specific sandwiches you can order, like the Terminator, which is roast beef, ham, and cheese. You’ll still need to talk about bread type and other toppings, though.
The sandwiches themselves are tasty (they should be, I picked out everything myself!). The ingredients are fresh and quality. The sandwiches are made only after you’ve ordered and they’re pretty quick about it. While the ordering process is daunting, the range of choice is refreshing. You can also call in your order, which requires you to know the menu a bit or have a sandwich order on their database. You don’t get to talk to anyone, you just leave a message.
Overall: A tasty spot with super variety. Don’t expect service with a smile.
Rating: 9/10
choice chow 
Leave a comment